Connection is essential to our survival as a species and to our feelings of belonging and joy.

The holiday season offers us opportunities to connect by gathering with family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. Gift-giving is one way to enhance the connection we share with others.

Sometimes, materialism overshadows the essence of gift-giving.

Luckily, my mindful friends, we have a choice to turn towards mindfulness, and that can transform this act into something truly meaningful.

Mindful gift-giving is not just about the physical present; it's about being fully present in the moment, cherishing the act of giving, and thoughtfully considering the recipient's needs and desires.

Ideas to Spark Mindfulness and Creativity

So how do we infuse mindfulness into gift-giving and truly be present?

• Make Intentional Choices

  Start by reflecting on the purpose behind your gift. Is it to show appreciation, love, or bring joy? Let your intention guide you in choosing a gift that resonates with your friend’s or family’s personality, needs, or passions.

  This practice steers you away from impulsive buying, and towards a more thoughtful selection that signifies your care and understanding.

• Choose Experiences Over Material Items

  Consider gifting experiences rather than material items. Experiences create memories and offer those we care about an opportunity to try something new or enjoy something they love.

  Whether it's a cooking class, a concert ticket, or a day at a spa, these gifts can be more impactful and memorable.

  Even better? Go together and volunteer with a community non-profit organization.

  Consider Handmade and Personalized Gifts

  Handcrafted gifts or personalized items can have a significant emotional value. They show that you have invested your time and creativity, which can be more touching than any storebought gift.

  Whether it’s a self-care item such as bath tea, a body scrub, or a painting, these gifts carry a piece of you with them.

• Try Novel Wrapping

  Be mindful of the environment when wrapping gifts. Try using recycled materials or get even more creative with your wrapping.

  A piece of fabric, a reusable box, or even a scarf or t-shirt can add a unique touch to your gift, reducing waste and adding a personal flair.

• Be Present in the Giving

  As I say at Present Moment Mindfulness & Yoga, the most important thing is to be fully present.

  When you get together with others to exchange gifts, remove distractions, and focus on the moment. Connect with the joy of giving and your friend’s or family’s reaction.

  This presence amplifies the experience, making it more meaningful for everyone.

• Cultivate Gratitude

  Express gratitude, not just for the opportunity to give, but also for the presence and connection with the person you are giving to.

  A simple message or a heartfelt conversation about why you chose the gift can deepen your relationship and make the moment more significant.

• Mindfulness in Receiving

  Lastly, practice mindfulness in receiving gifts. Show genuine appreciation and acknowledge the thought behind each gift. This reciprocity of mindfulness enriches the experience and nurtures deeper connections.

  I hope you have a mindful holiday season and feel a sense of connection far beyond any felt before. This is the truest gift of the season.

As we bid farewell to a balmy summer, we are welcomed by the refreshing and crisp embrace of autumn.

Living in the Ohio area, I've come to truly cherish this shift, especially after enduring the heat, thunderstorms, and even tornados of the past months.

Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom and power, has been making her presence felt. Sometimes she is awe-inspiring, and at other times, she brings challenges.

Pause and Reflect

These moments provide us with an opportunity to pause, reflect, and truly immerse ourselves in the evolving world around us.

Fall offers nature’s grand spectacle, a visual feast of leaves changing into a radiant palette of reds, oranges, and golds. As leaves drift to the earth, they serve as a poignant reminder of life’s transient nature.

Autumn is not just a season; it's an invitation to embrace change, to adapt, and to be present in the moment. It invites us to practice mindfulness, to find solace in its serene beauty, and to prepare ourselves for the cycles of change that lie ahead.

Nature’s Rx

Studies show that immersing ourselves in nature supports mindfulness and overall well-being.

Autumn, with its tapestry of colors and distinct sensory delights like pumpkin spice everything, offers a prime setting for us to delve deep into mindfulness exercises amidst the beauty of the outdoors.

Insights from ecotherapy and the Japanese practice of forest bathing (Shinrin-yoku) highlight that forging a bond with nature during autumn can alleviate stress and foster mental clarity.

Simple mindfulness exercises such as breathing in the crisp air for several moments or even searching for leaves in a variety of colors allow the opportunity to pause and indulge in the sensory joys of the season.

There’s nothing more inviting than the rich aroma of the season and the gentle whisper of trees swaying in the wind.

Such mindful moments pave the way for inner peace and gratitude, allowing us to embrace life’s transitions and savor the intricate marvels of nature’s rhythm.

Step Back and Observe

So, I invite you to take the time to notice where change is happening around you and within you.

Step back and observe it as it unfolds.

Become curious about what might be next.

Appreciate the act of acceptance.

Use a journal to track the thoughts, feelings, and sensations as they arise.

It only takes a moment to find your rhythm and embrace mindfulness in this autumn season that exemplifies the impermanence of life.

Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall. F. Scott Fitzgerald

Love, Light, Prayers, and Peace!

Summer possesses its own special kind of magic, weaving its enchantment on our emotions and thoughts, especially for our mindful souls. The sun's warmth feels like the universe's hug, energizing us to mindfully explore both the outer world and the one within. As the season unfolds, it paints our feelings with vibrant colors – from the excitement of carefree days to the bittersweet realization that all things are impermanent. Especially summer.

The Buddha taught that one way to practice mindfulness is by observing our feelings and thoughts. In the spirit of the waning days of summer, we might do this by gazing at the passing clouds without getting caught up in their drift. Summer's symphony of experiences – from the laughter of friends to the smell of fresh cut grass – can be our meditation. Or perhaps we even sit on the shore of a lake and listen to the waves roll in and out.

Practicing Gratitude for the Present Moment

Practicing mindfulness leads us to consider savoring the potential of impermanence. We can let go of clinging to the idea that summer should never end and instead cherish each day as it unfolds. Breathing in the warm air, we can feel gratitude for the present moment, just as the Buddha advised. We can find refuge in family, friends, and our communities recognizing the interconnectedness of all things.

As mindfulness seekers, let's remember that just as the end of summer brings transitions, life's journey is a constant change too. By walking mindfully through these sunlit days, we learn to dance gracefully while letting go of the summer and welcoming the next part of our existence. As fall approaches, let's honor the Buddha's teachings by immersing ourselves in the present, finding wisdom in every fleeting moment, and embracing the beauty of both the external world and the wisdom within.

Consider this quote:

The only thing that is constant is change. Heraclitus

In a world marked by constant flux, mindfulness and the practice of letting go stand as profound guiding principles, echoing the wisdom found within Buddhist teachings. As we journey through life using intricate steps to navigate various situations, the recognition of impermanence – the inherent transience of all things – becomes a pivotal anchor for our experience. Yet, impermanence may be difficult to accept and appreciate.

What Is Anicca?

Buddhist philosophy beautifully illustrates impermanence through the concept of "anicca." This doctrine emphasizes that nothing in the universe, including our thoughts, emotions, and material possessions, remains fixed. Much like clouds in the sky, life's experiences are in perpetual motion, shaping and reshaping our experiences. This realization serves as motivation for embracing mindfulness. We want impermanence in life. Otherwise, how would we change those habits that don’t serve us? How would we look forward to things that bring meaning into our lives? How would we get “unstuck”? By being mindful of impermanence, we appreciate the quality of hope.

What Is Sati?

Mindfulness, rooted in the Buddhist practice of "sati," entails being fully present in each moment. We look to do this without judgment and without attachment as we’ve discussed in prior blogs. By cultivating conscious awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and surroundings, we invite a deeper connection with reality. This awareness that everything is impermanent allows us to observe without clinging. Mindfulness acts as a bridge to letting go – a pathway to releasing our attachments to outcomes, expectations, and even our very identities.

What Is Vairagya?

The art of letting go, or "vairagya," underscores Buddhist teachings on non-attachment. When we cling to the transient, we foster suffering. Ever feel attached to something so strongly you found yourself in despair of it ever ending or leaving? I do this sometimes on the weekend – please, oh please, just one more day! The more we free ourselves from these attachments, the closer we move toward inner peace. Letting go doesn't imply indifference. Indifference is a lack of caring about something or someone. However, with mindfulness, we care, and we acknowledge the impermanent nature of all things. This liberates us from the bonds of uncertainty, fear, and anxiety.

The practice of mindfulness enhances our ability to let go gracefully. I sometimes let go of things with claw marks! Yet when I can observe my thoughts and emotions mindfully, I create a conscious space between stimulus and response. This is an important part of mindfulness. This space empowers us to choose how we engage with the fleeting moments that life presents. In the realm of impermanence, this choice is akin to choosing freedom.

In essence, mindfulness and letting go intertwine as invaluable tools in our pursuit of contentment and wisdom. By cultivating mindfulness, we elevate our consciousness to perceive beauty within each transient moment. By embracing the practice of anicca, we release the grip of attachments that block our inner peace. As we move along the path to practicing daily mindfulness, we discover the profound liberation that arises from surrendering to the impermanent nature of everything.

"Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free." - Thich Nhat Hanh

All meditation offers us time for relaxation and a way to create more awareness.

In a world where we often feel stressed, overwhelmed, and burnt out, we may withdraw from our senses as a protective measure against any other stress. Or we might go on autopilot, doing and saying things without thinking them through.

Meditation offers a path to connect with ourselves in a meaningful way that honors the experiences we’re having.

There are various forms of meditation. One of the more powerful ones is called loving kindness meditation or metta meditation.

What is Metta Meditation?

This type of meditation allows us to expand out of ourselves and into the world around us.

It offers us a way to see others through a new lens and appreciate their experiences. It allows us to cultivate an attitude of compassion towards self and others that helps create understanding and equanimity in relationships.

We feel the joy and sadness of others in a way that creates connections we would not otherwise experience. This, in turn, allows us to offer assistance or even just our presence.

Metta Mantras

Loving kindness meditation often includes phrases or mantras such as:

• May you be happy.
• May you be healthy.
• May you be safe.
• May you know peace and ease.

These phrases are repeated throughout the meditation with the object of our awareness shifting.

The Power of Metta Meditation

First, we turn our attention to someone we find easy to love such as a spouse, child, or close friend.

Once we feel the warmth of love and acceptance for them, the next step is to focus on these feelings for ourselves.

When we do this, we develop goodwill towards all parts of our being, even the ones we often don’t like very much.

This is why this form of meditation is so powerful.

Extending Your Empathy

Once we have established a foundation within ourselves, loving kindness meditation then creates a path towards others in our lives that are considered neutral – like the postal worker or the bank teller. Someone we have no particular attachment to, yet whom we see regularly.

It then invites us to gently move towards someone who is difficult to love. This may be someone who has hurt us in the past or creates situations in our lives that are uncomfortable or even painful.

Once we can increase awareness of compassion with equanimity for this person, we then turn our attention to all beings known or unknown.

Closing Thoughts

Loving kindness meditation creates a conduit of energy that both connects and energizes all beings. It provided a path to peaceful co-existence. Try this daily for 30 days and share how this changes your experiences of humanity.

Remember this quote from the King of Meditation Sutra, Chapter 14:

You who thoroughly cultivated loving-kindness are the spiritual guide of all beings.

Unshakable like Mount Meru, you remain utterly unperturbed. Phakchok Rinpoche

I ran across a news item the other day: “Scientists think they’ve finally figured out the Mayan calendar” according to an article in TechNews. The study was done at Tulane University. 

I do understand that the Mayan calendar can be viewed solely as an anthropological puzzle. But the calendar is not just some Rubik’s Cube to solve. When we approach the mysteries of deep history through a contemporary lens and one that’s tinted by the distortions of scientific materialism, I would have to question whether of all this academic work has contributed to a clearer understanding of how the calendar relates to what has been called the Great Awakening, and what we’re all experiencing now with this incredible planetary shift.

There’s no question that the Mayan calendar is shrouded in mystery. John Major Jenkins was one of the foremost spiritual interpreters and decoders of its meaning and significance and spent his entire life working on how we should understand it. I was privileged to know John personally (he passed in 2017). He was a keynote speaker at Boston’s first and only conference on the 2012 phenomenon. The event was sponsored by the Emergence Project, a non-profit that I founded with Annette Farrington in 2009. John’s life’s work was spent writing a series of books on the Mayan mysteries and I highly recommend them.

As we now peel back the layers of deep history, we’re paradoxically in a way going “back to the future.” Like Stonehenge, the calendar is an artifact of a path to a particular consciousness (much like a mandala or a labyrinth) and something we have a hard time wrapping our Western brains around.  For those of us who are intrigued by the long cycles of history that the Mayans understood, the subject can be approached as a roadmap, a guide, an illumination. In that sense it is never “solved.”

Limits of Science

I’m not anti-science by any means. In fact, I’ve written two books on science and technology and spent most of my life in the field. But when a culture assumes that science is the ultimate arbiter of reality, then there’s nothing, even the most elusive mysteries in the great arc of human history, that can’t be explained away. The way that Western scientific materialism sometimes takes complex realities and then, with characteristic hubris, purports to explain them in overly simple terms is what’s called reductionism.

I have no problem with scientists trying to figure out the meaning of the Mayan calendar. They may indeed have come up with some perspectives that could help with future studies. But I would be willing to bet that their explanation of its significance will fall far short of a deep understanding that extends well beyond simple dates and complex mathematical relationships. 

Mayan Calendar: Misinterpretations Abound

The Mayan calendar and the date 2012 have been widely misunderstood and that continues to this day. When the year 2012 hit, many wrongly expected that there would be signs and wonders. Existential fireworks. The Big Something. But that’s not how the patterns and unfolding of long historical cycles work. In fact, the year 2012 was just a gateway, only the beginning of a cycle that is now intensifying in scope and power. 

As I’ve noted, the sense of deep history that the ancients had does not always mesh with our Westernized perspectives. The mainstream press jumped all over the lack of an “event” in 2012 as some sort as “proof” that the Mayan Calendar was nonsense. The good news is that the notion of the Great Awakening, the Shift, the Ascension, or whatever your preferred term might be for the intense energetic changes happening now, has taken hold in our culture, even if imperfectly understood. It’s wonderful to see so many becoming aware of it despite the outward appearances of a “world gone wrong” in the words of Bob Dylan.

In addition to being master astronomers, the Mayans also developed teachings about how the unfolding of earth changes and events in our solar system and beyond (i.e. galactic events) would affect our lives politically, culturally, and in many other ways. This too should be considered a kind of science. In Mayan cosmology, galactic events had specific impacts on human affairs, in part through the alteration of the earth’s energy fields and grids.

Recent and strong changes in solar activity are now playing a large role in this process as the Mayans predicted. These energies are powerful and increasing in intensity with many ripple effects. They are destabilizing world events, repatterning our individual "reality bubbles", accelerating changes in the earth’s geomagnetic grid and infrastructure, altering our perceptions of self and other, and bringing up blocked energies for clearing, 

This is simultaneously an exciting, troubling, and very intense time.

But for those who appreciate and can open up to these cascading energetic waves of change, the opportunities for spiritual growth are unparalleled.

With spring, we feel excited for longer days and the chance to get outside and move more in the sun. We also review what we did over the winter, often, not much in the way of movement and self-care. This includes a tendency to examine our bodies, with judgment. We know we're going to be putting away the baggy winter clothes that cover things we judge negatively as being too much (weight, for example) and lacking (muscles and firmness, for example). That self-judgment is critical and self-sabotaging.

We do not improve by being harsh in our thoughts, words, or actions towards ourselves.

The First Step

The foundation for yoga practice is based on the ethical guidelines laid out in Patanjali’s eightfold path of yoga. The first ethical tenet of yoga is ahimsa, which means non-harming or non-violence in Sanskrit. If you recall from prior articles, yoga means union. Being in union with our bodies, minds, and spirit first before we can be in union with others. And what we say to ourselves matters. There are few things more harmful than the critical words we say to ourselves.

Ahimsa reminds us that, in yoga, we listen deeply to our body’s inner wisdom and align our actions with an intrapersonal attunement. How we speak in our head is how we speak to others, whether we realize it or not. We may think we’re being sweet-as-pie when we communicate with others, yet they often see right through the inauthenticity. Humans have an uncanny ability to recognize this. So, be mindful of what you say in your head that only you can hear.

If you notice that self-critical voice arise, don't judge yourself, it adds salt to the wound. Instead, get curious about it and make room for the part of us that criticizes - it's likely an attempt to make ourselves better or happier. Mindfully listening to this voice allows us to own it, get curious about it, and recognize we have an inner voice calling for change.

Want that extra piece of candy? Pause, breathe, return to center and ask yourself, “Am I eating this to escape something that is bothering me or as an act of appreciation for something that brings pleasure?”

Want to argue with a co-worker who annoys you? Pause, breathe, return to center, and ask yourself, “Am I so bothered by the this person because it is an important problem that true harm is imminent or is it something I recognize about myself in them that I want to avoid?”

Step into the space of the experience with a sense of curiosity. Allow judgments of self and others to fall away. See if you can merely see an experience as pleasant, neutral, or unpleasant and then trust yourself and your mindfulness practice to carry you forward in truth and authenticity. Then, rather than suffering, we practice ahimsa. We find self-compassion and self-acceptance. This creates space to let go of things that could be self-harming or other harming and act with integrity instead. We know we are moving in the direction of mindful transformation and peace.

Remember this quote:

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny. Lao Tzu

The value of being in nature can’t be understated. Between 2019 and 2021, data shows the average American spent 4.2 hours on mobile devices and another three hours watching TV. Nearly half of us didn't take part in outdoor activities even one time. Not one time!

Research shows the importance of mindfulness practice in nature to both physical and emotional health and well-being. It also shows this is critical to making connections within us and with others. We live in a society that rushes from one thing to the next and this creates a chronic sense of separation. Mindfulness teaches us that we are all connected and this creates a felt sense of worthiness, compassion, and value in our lives.

When it comes to those who have experienced chronic stress or trauma, it is essential to use the soothing aspects of nature to ground and center. The beauty of practicing mindfulness in nature is that we can do it both formally and informally. Finding a retreat in your area that incorporates nature and a mindfulness practice such as yoga, tai chi, or qi gong would be a formal way to practice mindfulness.

For an informal mindfulness practice in nature, I suggest the following:

• Find a beautiful spot where you can sit in a meditation posture for at least 10 minutes. 
• Allow your eyes to remain open and observe all the creatures great and small around you as they move through their space. 
• Simply notice your breath and the sounds around you. 
• Next, notice how your heart rate slows, your senses become more attuned to what's around you, and you begin to feel rooted to the surface supporting you. 
• Notice the richness of the experience and how much sharper your senses become yet more relaxed. 
• End with a sense of gratitude for the beauty of the nature around you.

I recommend practicing this mindfulness routine as frequently as possible. You may decide to write in a journal about your experience when you complete your practice. Some things to note include not only what happened during your practice but afterwards as well. See if the ability to pause comes a little more naturally. Really recognize if you take a moment to breathe when you are working, at home, and with others. See if you notice that you are calmer and more centered in the things you choose to do that bring meaning to your life.

Especially in times of stress and overwhelm, invite a sense of peaceful and curious exploration into these times. This will help you feel more powerful and increase self-worth and self-confidence. 

Remember this quote from E.M. Forster:

"What is the good of your stars and trees, your sunrise and the wind, if they do not enter into our daily lives?" E.M.Forster

Love, Light, Prayers, and Peace!

I spend a lot of time pondering what the deeper forces that are shaping world events might be. News stories tell us facts about the world we inhabit. But they often just skim the surface of what’s going on at a deeper level.

We rely on philosophers, cultural commenters, spiritual teachers, and others to help us understand these kinds of truths, but what fascinates me is trying to connect the dots between the two.

While on occasion there are thoughtful articles that break this pattern in the mainstream media, journalists are so busy scrambling to meet deadlines and hold onto their jobs in corporate-dominated media environments that most of the time, they don’t have time to step back and look at the deeper forces shaping our world at this interesting, albeit troubling, time in history.

Academia used to fill this void to some extent, but because university education is increasingly involved in supporting corporate agendas, it seems all too often that we can no longer can rely on it to supply these broader perspectives either.  

Between Two Worlds

The narratives we’re presented with about the world and important world events are constructed narratives.

Some may remember Carlos Castaneda, who wrote many books that studied the life and ways of Mexican shaman. His term for this was “consensus reality."

But when there are huge changes taking place in the world picture, consensus reality dissolves because consensus dissolves. Things begin to seem chaotic, unanchored, and impossible to understand because, basically, we’ve lost our map of reality.

While this feels alienating and troubling, the good news is that what’s being experienced isn’t a permanent condition. Rather, it’s just a characteristic of a transition when the old world is dying and the new one is still being born.

The Roles of Tribalism and Spirituality

In this context, we might reflect that history has been described as “the lie commonly agreed upon,” then remember Peguy's famous saying that “What begins in mysticism ends in politics.” This beckons the realization that, to understand changes in the world, we have to peel back the surface of things and look deeper at the powerful forces behind world events including spirituality, religion, and culture.

These are sometimes grouped together under the heading of tribalism. But tribalism can also include other powerful beliefs such as a belief in science and technology as the ultimate arbiter of truth.

We see this most obviously manifested in the increasingly disturbing transhumanist movement, which appears to be an attempt to replace spirituality with science.

Here in the US, what the media presents to us as merely political issues is often underpinned by powerful spiritual or religious themes, and these deeper aspects are rarely discussed or even acknowledged. 

Natural Living v. Artificial Living

Another huge underlying theme is the notion of natural v. artificial living. In my opinion, the biggest undercurrent in what we see going on in the world today (especially here in the US) is a kind of tug of war between accepting an artificial but deliberatively constructed reality v. primarily focusing on rebuilding and restoring the natural world.

We’ve been systematically destroying the Web of Life through many decades of living an unsustainable consumer lifestyle coupled with certain out-of-control technologies that serve to accelerate it.

Unfortunately, this is not what we might call a fair fight. This is because those on the side of the technology juggernaut (i.e. powerful corporations) are using immense public relations and media resources to paint this rather ugly reality as something desirable that will benefit humankind. Nothing could be further from the truth.

My own connection to this issue derives from 22 years of studying Tai Chi and Qigong, both very rooted in the need to connect with natural world on a deep level.

There are no Taoist organizations that exist. Rather it’s an oral tradition that goes back thousands of years.

The ancient Taoists valued our connection with nature above all else. And, like yoga, its practices were designed in its deeper manifestations to bring us into harmony with it.

The Transhumanist Movement

In the strange and at times unrecognizable world we see unfolding today, the value of even having this connection is being gravely threatened by the dehumanizing idea that both our core humanity and the natural world that sustains us are deficient in some way and can be “improved” through the use of technology and genetic engineering.

A lot of this thinking can be traced to a Silicon Valley secular philosophy called Transhumanism.

The extremes of transhumanist thinking appear to be a kind of “mad science,” something that writers such as Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein, and many science fiction writers have warned us about... warnings that have clearly gone unheeded.

A False Solution

According to these cheerleaders of endless progress and technology as a kind of new but soulless religion, the solution to our existential crisis is to re-engineer the entire planet.

Animal species are dying and going extinct? No worries: with genetic engineering, we can create new ones.

Large factory farms are inhumane to animals and creating unhealthy food? No problem: we’ll use genetic engineering to create artificial meat in huge vats.

Ecological catastrophe is threatening the planet and its ability to sustain 8 billion people? No worries, we’ll colonize Mars and the moon.

It’s a horrendous form of abandonment of the natural world.

While much of the technology we’ve invented can be beneficial, Western culture especially has generally not learned how to use it wisely.

And rather than acknowledging how we’ve brought on this existential world crisis by not fully considering the unintended consequences of our consumer-driven lifestyle, the solution being offered by governments and corporations now working together is simply to do more of the same under a different framing and naming.

Just because the word “sustainable” is used in conjunction with some initiative doesn’t mean that it’s beneficial or desirable.

An Alternative Path

Instead of buying into the false narrative of transhumanism and its plans to re-engineer reality to suit the vision of elites who have their hands on the levers of technological power, the real work ahead is to reconnect with the natural world and the Web of Life.

I don’t believe that it’s too late. We need to resist how technocratic leaders with increasing control over government are forcing the use of very harmful technology systems concerning which we’ll have no choice and no say.

We need to restore Planet Earth and in the words of cultural historian Morris Berman, “reenchant the world”.

This is the real work ahead of us.

The holiday season is a time that offers us an opportunity to explore activities that are rooted in tradition and societal expectations to create connection with those most important to us.

However, much of the season is fraught with feelings of being overwhelmed and rushed.

The Stress of Giving Gifts

When we take a step back, we might realize much of the hullabaloo involves pressure we place on ourselves. A main way we do this is through gift-giving.

We spend countless hours searching for the right gift. We do this hoping that the perfect gift will create that connection with others we might find it difficult to cultivate in other ways, or worse, out of a sense of obligation.

When we consider this from a mindfulness perspective, it may shed light on why we are so willing to spend money, time, and energy, often in short supply at this time of year, to meet a perceived expectation for the holiday season.

The sad part is when we meet this expectation, we are often left feeling stressed and feeling empty.

So, how about approaching the holiday and gift-giving a little more mindfully this year?

The Psychology of Gift-Giving

Science shows we receive a slight mood lift from giving gifts.

Gift-giving provides a burst of excitement; unfortunately, it’s usually short-lived. This is because oxytocin is released and its effects on the body don't last long.

However, if we consider the three components of mindfulness we’ve focused on in other blog articles:

• Paying Attention
• With Intention
• Without Judgment

… we may decide to approach our engagement with our family and friends and gift-giving from a new perspective. One that engages creativity, meaning, and intention.

This will encourage a longer-lasting and more impactful experience that provides a true connection.

Engaging the creative parts of the brain to find the gift we think would bring joy to the recipient has been shown in studies to increase feelings of connection and altruism. It also leads to other cognitive benefits such as improved cognitive performance and improved connectivity in the brain.

More than that, when we choose to engage in gift-giving from a place of values, we increase our own self-worth. Ironically, gift-giving to others with a focus on providing a joyful experience for them allows us to be more authentically ourselves.

When we give gifts mindfully in this manner, we make meaningful connections authentically, which increases self-worth and builds stronger relationships.  

How to Give Gifts Mindfully

To get started on mindful gift-giving, try this:  

• First review your values and the values you hold in the relationships in your life.
• Next, find something that nurtures the relationship rather than provides a “thing.” Perhaps an experience together such as a community concert or a creative event.
• Maybe volunteer at a charity or organization that is meaningful to both you and you family/friend/co-worker for an afternoon. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Remember this quote:

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. Kahlil Gibran