Familiar Chaos vs. Unfamiliar Peace

Recently, I noticed a habit of settling into the moment with an extreme sense of dissatisfaction. I’d catch myself actively looking for things that were wrong—it’s too cold for this time of year, the coffee creamer tastes off, or I’m the only one cleaning up around the house. But honestly, none of these things mattered in that moment. I realized I was resisting something far more unfamiliar: peace.

Have you ever noticed how chaos can feel oddly comfortable, while peace might seem unsettling? If you’ve lived through cycles of stress, overwhelm, or burnout—especially after experiencing trauma—your nervous system may crave the familiarity of stress rather than the unknown feeling of calm.

Here’s why: your brain is wired for survival, not relaxation. When you’ve been conditioned to remain on high alert, peace can initially feel unsafe. Your nervous system might resist slowing down because your brain naturally clings to what it knows—even when it’s exhausting. Stress, with its adrenaline rush, can be oddly addictive. And stillness? It might feel strange simply because you’re so accustomed to constant movement.

Welcoming in Peace

So, how can we gently start feeling safe in peace? Here are small, manageable steps to help your nervous system begin to trust calm:

Micro-Moments of Calm

Enjoy a quiet moment with your favorite beverage. Simply hold your tea or coffee and notice the warmth in your hands.

Move Before Stillness

Sway gently, stretch softly, or shake out your limbs before settling down. Allow movement to help your body unwind gradually.

Ground Through Your Senses

Select a sense (sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell) and fully awaken it—perhaps smell a fresh lemon or savor a bite of something delicious.

Sigh It Out

Instead of forcing deep breaths, simply exhale fully with a sigh. Your body naturally loves and responds positively to this.

Tiny Safe Wins

Try just 30 seconds of intentional stillness, reassuring yourself gently: “It's okay to slow down.”

Remember, peace is like slowly stepping into cool water—it may feel shocking at first, but with gentle patience, your body gradually learns to trust and enjoy it.